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How I Found the Urantia Book—SANDOR SZABADOS (1978) 


JESUS SAID, “Seek and you shall find.” In 1973 I left the University of Colorado, where I had been working on my Ph.D. in philosophy. Although I had learned much, I found myself with many pieces of information that did not add up to a coherent and complete philosophical model. I believed in the existence of a God but I also believed in evolution, and during all the years in school I had found nothing that would tie the two together. Thirsting for answers, I left academia.

After a couple of years in Vail, Colorado, where I worked as a ski instructor, I went to Seattle and resumed my search. Shortly after my arrival, away from the plastic environment of the mountain resort I had named “The Disneyland of the Rockies,” I began to think about Jesus. His simple, straightforward yet profound pronouncements in the New Testament began to appeal to me. But what really affected me was the way he had been put to death. As I visualized myself nailed to a cross, with large nails piercing my hands and feet, a terrible anguish would come over me. I would cry for long periods, unable to stop.

Moved by a tremendous compassion and love for this good and beautiful man whose life had been so cruelly ended, I began to attend Sunday functions in the churches of different Christian denominations, looking for ways to share what I felt inside for him. For three long years I joined in the singing and listened to the sermons with those attending, but to my great disappointment I did not find and could not share his spirit. This produced in me a deep feeling of sadness and loneliness.

In June of 1978, looking through the Yellow Pages, I called a non-denominational church and was told that they were reading from different religious books, at that time the Urantia Book. When I arrived the next Sunday morning, the congregation was beginning to read the section on page 192 titled “Morals, Virtue, and Personality.” The initial words hit me like a bolt of lightning:

“Intelligence alone cannot explain the moral nature. Morality, virtue, is indigenous to human personality. Moral intuition, the realization of duty, is a component of human mind endowment and is associated with the other inalienables of human nature: scientific curiosity and spiritual insight.”

I knew instantly that here was what I had been looking for and had finally found—or better yet, that had found me.

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